Journal 26

Answers to previous questions:
I haven't been able to get in touch with a doctor since my last journal entry to ask about polypharmacy as an indicator of mortality. I will be contacting doctors soon since I need to shadow one before applying to medical school, so I will be able to ask about it then.

New information:
In class today we looked through our project proposals and did an activity to help us organize the sections/paragraphs more effectively. My background information is organized as follows:

Paragraph 1: Basic definition of polypharmacy and how it is defined by various researchers
Purpose: Tells reader what I am studying

Paragraph 2: Research has shown indicators of polypharmacy in patients
Purpose: Tells reader what research has been done already

Paragraph 3: Polypharmacy is a concern for older adults for a number of reasons.
Purpose: Tells reader why polypharmacy is worth researching, why it is a concern.

Paragraph 4: There are measures physicians can take to reduce polypharmacy among their elderly patients.
Purpose: Tells reader what solutions are possible to solve the problem.

Paragraph 5: Why my research is different than what has been done already and why it has value.
Purpose: Tells reader why my research is unique.

Paragraph 6: Outlines my methods for library research.
Purpose: Helps readers see that my library research methods are viable.

Questions and observations from this information:

How do I make this more of a persuasive essay?
Do I need to establish earlier in the essay that there is a knowledge gap in the research that I will fill by doing my project?
I seem to be missing a conclusion. My paragraph six seems to be a bad way to end this section if it is to be considered as a complete essay within my proposal. My paragraph five seems like a conclusion, but I can't just erase paragraph six since it is required in the proposal outline. Moving paragraph to any other place in the section would feel out of place.
I don't think I need to add any other paragraphs, but I do need to beef up the information in my paragraphs. This might lead to splitting some of them into separate paragraphs.

Keywords: project proposal